


Boba Fett and Fennec Shand Make "Pizza"

by Sparisoma



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Pizza, The Book of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian (TV) Season 2 Spoilers, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28303743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparisoma/pseuds/Sparisoma
Summary: Exactly as it sounds, Boba Fett and Fennec Shand make the Star-Wars equivalent of pizzas after getting to the old Hutt compound.Fennec shares her(my) puns.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	Boba Fett and Fennec Shand Make "Pizza"

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, I love The Mandalorian and don't really know how to describe pizza without saying pizza so I said 'flatbread.'
> 
> My Star Wars overall knowledge is rusty and this was mainly written for the puns.

Boba sat in the newly vacated chair and surveyed the empty room in the near-empty tower that was now his. He sat there long enough for Fennec to finish half the bottle of whatever she had found. There were a few other people in the towers, he’d give them time to decide whether to scatter or join him before getting up to make rounds. He hadn’t told Fennec to free the slave chained to the chair but he was glad they were on the same page; each chain would be broken and slaves could decide if they wanted employment or directions to the nearest town. This was going to be good.

Except maybe sitting was a bad idea, it made Boba realize how long it had taken to get there and how quickly rations ran out with more people on the ship. He was starving. Fennec was probably running on empty too and drinking on an empty stomach was not a good idea.

“First order of business,” Boba said getting up from the chair, “is-”

“-second.” Fennec interrupted.

“What?” Boba turned as she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and set the flagon down.

“You just shot that guy, that counted as the first so now were on the second.” She said pointing to Bib Fortuna, the previous 'owner' of the compound. 

“Shooting him was me taking charge, I haven’t done anything while in charge yet so now it is time for the ‘first’ thing,” Boba trailed off wondering why he was even arguing, he was Boba-fucking-Fett and now owner of a former Hutt syndicate compound.

“My bad,” Fennec said motioning for him to continue.

“Now that I am in charge, we should-”

“-safety fence around the Sarlacc pit.” Fennec interrupted again and Boba couldn't think of a response.

The silence stretched until Fennec brokes it, “too soon, sorry. Say what you wanted to say.”

Boba had to collect his thoughts as he wondered what was in the bottle, was Fennec’s newfound ( _terrible)_ humor going to stay, and if so should he consider getting a new right-hand gun?

“I’m really hungry by the way” Fennec added.

 _Me too,_ Boba thought, “first order of business is to assess the provisions,” and started walking towards where he was pretty sure the kitchens were located.

By the time they got there, it was pretty obvious that the compound is near deserted. There were a few droids who scuttled around corners and Boba reasoned that either the organic life forms were better at hiding or had taken off. The nearest town was a good day or two away and Boba had disabled the outbound communications unit when they’d arrive; there was time before others heard of the ‘new management’ taking up residence. Plenty of time to make some sort of food.

“Looks well stocked,” Boba muttered looking over the kitchen and pulling a few items from shelves and setting them on the counter.

“You know how to cook?” Fennec asked opening a jar and poking the pickled vegetables inside.

“You don’t?”

“The last thing I made for myself in a kitchen was a sandwich made of jogan fruit jam spread between two protein ration bars.”

Boba tried not to imagine the taste. “Well then, I can make us some flatbreads if you get the ovens running. Turn the dial on the right to the number 8 and see if you can find some trays.”

“I’ll Hutt to it,” Fennec said with a salute. 

Boba said nothing, he just stared.

“Hop to it? Hutt to it? We’re in the old Hutt compound…” Fennec trailed off. “Ok I will rework that one.”

“Please don’t,” Boba muttered as he opened the tin of slightly fermented, premade dough and some red sauce. He starts sorting through the containers and cooking tools haphazardly piled in and around the sink. He mentally added _find a head cook_ to the to-do list.

“Good thing there’s plenty of stuff,” Fennec said, “otherwise we’d be in a real jam.”

Boba hummed in agreement and started spreading the dough onto the trays before his head shot up as he realized Fennec was eating jam straight from a jar. Jogan-fruit jam.

“Don’t spoil your appetite,” Boba said after taking a breath.

Silence fills the kitchen as Fennec continued to sit on the counter behind him and ruin her appetite. Boba began with spreading sauce and cheese on the dough before opening some containers of preserved toppings.

“Fungi cubes?” He asked holding one up.

“Nah, don’t have the stomach for them,” Fennec said.

Boba nodded and was about to keep working on his half before he stopped and looked over to see Fennec, the shit, gritting her teeth trying not to laugh.

“How long have you been sitting on that one?”

Fennec shrugged, “a while.”

Boba took a moment to breathe and not hit her with a tray before turning back to arranging vegetables and sorting through the provisions. “Herb Oil?”

“Sure.” Fennec paused and then added: “Extra oil actually, gotta keep things from squeaking.”

Boba turned and apparently the look on his face made Fennec crack and she laughed. He had to make a conscious effort to set the herb oil on the counter and not chuck it at her head. He might kill her, if she keeps up with the jokes and comments he might actually drop kick her off a cliff.

“Come on, that was a good one,” Fennec said hopping off the counter and grabbing snatching some shredded cheese to pop in her mouth.

Boba sighed, it could be worse (like when he had nobody and started talking to his weapons). After he ate some food, the joking would probably be less of a nuisance; low blood sugar was a bitch.

He picked up the trays and nodded towards the oven, “open the door.”

Fennec does this and winces as the heat washes over her face. “Can’t stand the heat, should I get out of the kitchen?”

“ _Stars above,_ Fennec I am going to throw you off the roof of the compound!” Boba yelled and slammed the oven doors shut.

Fennec backed away and held her hands up, “ok, I realize now is not the time, no more jokes. I promise,” she added when Boba tipped his head skeptically.

The flatbreads baked without issue and Fennec kept to her word. They carried the food over to some windows looking out over the shifting sands. The first of the two suns was just beginning to ease below the horizon.

“Not bad,” Fennec said biting into the flatbread and watching the cheese stretch. She held up the tiny canister of carbonated juice, “toast to the new management?”

Boba smirked and obliged. “Enjoy the quiet for now, people aren’t going to be too happy to learn we’re here.”

Fennec shrugged, “I worked for the Hutts you know, and knew some of the people they dealt with. I think we can take ‘em.”

“And after the dust settles and you’ve paid off your debt to me, what then?” Boba asked.

Fennec shrugged smirking, “stick around to annoy your ass off with the rest of the puns I’ve got saved up.”

Something told Boba that staking the claim would be worth it, even if it was hell at first. Boba knew the risks and knew that Fennec knew her stuff. What neither of them knew was how powerful they’d be together and that was something Boba was looking forward to finding out.

“You will not annoy my ass off with puns,” Boba said.

“How do you know?” Fennec challenged.

Boba looked at her stomach, looked back up at her face, and smiled, “ _you don’t have the guts.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I ran out of puns if anyone has any, drop them in the comments and I may write another chapter.


End file.
